Staceyann Chin

Windows...

...are not enough reason for jumping. The sun is threatening to come out. Summer hikes up it's blue skirt and the sky peeks mischievous at all the parts of me that need rain

water is not enough reason to drown
bodies washed with soap
smell different from falling

I am writing
writing
writing

knocking more of me out
for public scrutiny

who owes me
nothing
nobody owes me anything

but they give it anyway
strangers and friends who have known me for years

yesterday I lost
thirteen pages of a document

thirteen pages of my cousin and my brother
beating the odds
of how we were not raised by anyone after nine
after eleven

we were children of the whoever wanted us
the journaling is slow today

this morning I am less fluid in the lines
breaking my own heart this moring

I am frightened of being
by myself
in my own house

it passes
and I am survived by worry
and anxiety

traces of a self changing
stretching and leaping toward
the warm
hollow of my own hope

no one holds me better than me
these days
no one holds me really

wish I was a broken arm
steady healing
under the crisp white cast

six weeks and everything is as good as it was
before the breaking

drink and you shall not be thirsty
christ is generous guy

but be careful what you offer
people might come to expect it

DC this weekend
Pride
and the negotiation of a world
moving faster than light

almost eight already
the hour is approaching

time to pack
bras
panties

tanks
shoes
cold days they promise
not so much sunshine

I am here sorting through the muddle
of my lack of concentration

the words choppy and insecure
even the poetry
is bland

dark waters and bleak windows
here comes the rain again

the show opens in August
45 Bleecker

home of where I first knew I could stand alone
on my own art
and conscience

let me know what the weather is like in your town this weekend,
Staceyann

Posted by staceyann at May 28, 2004 07:54 AM