Staceyann Chin

12:38 am

and the world spins a little slower than before.

the show is done

finally

the writing is something I can live with

and the staging is about to happen to my body
a body
a poem

pins and needles

will anyone come?

it's been three years since I did a show in New York
by myself

and everyone believes in my body
but me

strange thing

fails me
in these years
of not quite youth

Maziki I miss you
and Mijanne

it is good to have your laughter in my home
and Karl

and Racquel
I think of you all the time

and Dee
I miss mornings
with you in my ear

and Chaun
we are becoming friends again

and birthdays are simply
days
to watch the sun go down again

Happy Birthday Kim
and all these questions

and will I find the courage to be brave?
under the lights?

and the strange voice of a director?
and me?
not quite sure if this is a good idea anymore

I like tanks that wrap soft around my breasts
my belly allowed the room to breathe

is this the right path for learning
for seeing truth
buried in my feet slamming brutal on a South African floor

I want to see Japan
under the slide of Damion's smile

do you still miss me
Jamaican boy

ramble if you will
and the themes will recur

they need little urging under such hesitant hands
they come again

never mind the crippling fear
take the bloody thing off the computer

read it out loud
while packing

for Chicago
Stockholm

the calendar is incomplete

the run is limited
to what I am not sure

my mother leaves me in my dreams she comes back as a frog and I am not prince enough to save her

come back to me my language
my lover
of religion

I want to be Tao
sit in the moment
for just one moment

sit with me
and my body will promise you centuries of staying

no leaving for the likes of me and my kin

we will always be living in motal sin
against God and man

we whistle and crow and fuck and fight

and DH Lawrence
had the whole thing figured out
he did what he could with our frail hint at humanity

Godness
is lost uopn the hunt for good

God is a sign
pointing away from self

look at the trees
see the earth muddy and bleeding

see me
and flail

pray with your hands
plant your feet firm into the soil

something will eventually grow from there

Curtain goes up on August 5th
see you there

(hopefully)

Staceyann

Posted by staceyann at July 7, 2004 12:51 AM