Staceyann Chin

Baltimore...

and the day stretches
beautiful
ahead

today
I want to think of things
that give me pleasure

vibrators
wit

conversations that dip salacious into midnight
mothers who stay

fathers who come back
and wishes
that come true unwished
for

today I will think of crabs
and bacon

and all we shared
and why we failed

so miserably
I will think of the face of a girl called Larah

in Cologne
she looks just like me

only more beautiful

my sister

I will think of Suheir
and Issila
and Georgia

and how the friendship of these women warp
sturdy around my form that hints at frailty

do not underestimate me motherfuckers

I am never going to die
maybe

I might opt from this lifetime
only to delve wicked in the pleasures of the one to follow

I am eternal
because my grandmother was here almost a century ago
still here

she is all lines hands and face

all gratitude
for her breath

my grandchildren will be here
long after these politicians are dead

you cannot erase me
permanent ink

these poems will live
past my understanding of life as we know it

tea and rice cakes
with seaweed

I am invincible
when I am not afraid

for at least seven minutes a day
I vow my bravest self

and stand steady in such fire
then I survive the hours

remaining

fear turning knife inside my dreams
I will not leave
will not leave myself

will not sing in a voice void of sincerity
if I am broken
then the notes will crack

and they will be beauty
and ragged
and torn

I will say what I know to be inside of me

I will not pretend

I am whole
and in pieces

I am only human
I can only be

me

Staceyann

Posted by staceyann at October 28, 2004 11:37 AM