Staceyann Chin

Leaving Baltimore for Bethlehem

One hour given back
though it is not really so

we convince ourselves

slumber a tad more
and resist the work we have to do
everyday we resist

I cannot not sleep past six
it is my fate

to be up way past anyone's inclination
and awake before I can call

friends family
old lovers

lovers not quite yet
everything is soon

do we process faster because we are older?
or do we stop processing as we age?

nothing beautiful about that
the lack of process
the absence of a well thought out plan

(Iraq)

and here we are in the autumn of our choices
alone

and awake long before dawn
winter
and no sunrise to admire

dark is the weapon I most fear
light makes me unable

to process
things beautiful

huddled here in this room that too many have fucked in
hotels are inhospitable

sterile if they are clean
unbearable when they are filthy

people paid to smile
sometimes I smile back

more often
I walk away

my body is ready to leave this place
how I miss the comfort of my flat

but how I love doing well what I have to do
having to do the thing I love so well

the road is seductive
and I am alone

open to the effects of rain
water
and women

songs on the tongues of girls with poems in their pockets
sometimes on the phone

this singular existence
is
precious

whatever that means
and I am up and packing

almost ready for the place named after a man who changed the world

Bethlehem
and I wonder if Christ thinks of such things

returning to a place that killed more than his body
a place that still murders in his name

I suspect I will ask him when I see him
perhaps in my other life?

Staceyann

Posted by staceyann at October 31, 2004 07:26 AM