November 03, 2004

Too heavy for one heart to carry

My woman left me

and George W. Bush is the president of the country
in which I live

and fight

no fucking tonight
as I am wont to be emotionally entrenched
before I do such things

prude that I am
it’s ironic that I am

illegal
as married to any lover who has left our Union

in ELEVEN states of the Divided North America
better to be single in world like that

better to have friends and miss Nina and her rage
how I miss Nina

Ain’t got no use

no money
no schooling
no class
no country

no mother
no father
no children

But I got my hands
my legs
my heart

gonna keep it

I got my life

this room in Huntington, West Virginia
reflects the window
lamenting the climate of hate

no water
no food for the faces poverty-torn
and without hope

they voted overwhelmingly
Republican

white bodies mostly
trapped in this bizarre fantasy

Kerry has conceded
all night long I watched the numbers

and wondered what would Nina say if she were here
woman with salt in your voice

say something to me
crying in a tub of mint
eucalyptus
and hope

I fell today
lost my balance/slipped/almost broke something

wet and sobbing I checked
my left pinkie
finger and right knee
spirit flagging and shaping itself toward

the memory of Nina and how she might have felt
under Regan
or Nixon

or segregation

god grant me the grace
to speak with courage tonight

grant us sunshine
and the compassion to love each other better than this

gather me soft
and show me my life’s work

show me again
how love is hard and permanent

kiss me with the kisses of thy mouth
for your love is better than wine

Solomon had the inside
track on the bluebird

I am scattered and in need of reassurance let us hold each other tighter harder
frail as we are in this dark hour of rain

and skies too heavy for one heart to carry
rest your right auricle
against my left ventricle

let our beating be one rhythm
of survival

and song
journey with me
far beyond this generation and what we have already lost

we will have daughters
let us band our wrists together
for their tiny wombs not yet formed

their bodies
loving mirrors of the self

let us look toward the legacy we were given by Audre
and Pat Parker
and Zora

Rosa Parks is still among us
let us say no to this trampling over the future
of those too afraid to struggle

the noose cannot tighten if we continue to breathe
breath
against hope folded in fortitude

Bush is only a man
no empire can last forever

look at England flailing under the hand of such visible ignorance
everyday bucket go
a well

one day
the bottom must drop out

let us see this fork as a way to mover forward
in all possible directions

fear not
for behold I bring you good tidings of great Joy
in the city
is born

a new understanding of our struggle

Guerilla, my love
my arms
my legs

my home
my heart
my feet

my finger will heal
and so will the parts of me

I cannot yet bear
to touch

in hope and a body believing,
Staceyann

Posted by staceyann at November 3, 2004 05:34 PM
Comments

Thank you for writing this. I am dealing with the longest break-up in history right now. As my work day started to slow down, I felt my heart get heavier and heavier. The potential loss of my rights, my country, my future, my children and my children's future, coupled with the loss of the love of my life, my companion, my wifey, the woman of my dreams... it became too much. I felt tears starting to creep into my eyes as I prepared to face another night without her. I was lonely. I felt that I was the only one in the world dealing with this type of pain, and I had no way to fully express how I felt. Then the universe sent me this email, and now I am ok. I feel like some of the pain that was bubbling fiercely under my skin (threatening to blow me away) was released into a big gray rain cloud that produced a steady flow of cleansing rain drops. Since I can't always cry when I need to, it was the best feeling I could have asked for.

Blessings,

JT

Posted by: JT at November 3, 2004 06:27 PM

i just got back from seeing you in huntington, wv and it was everything i hoped it would be. you inspire me to keep writing. you were wonderful tonight. i waited after the show to meet you but someone told me that you dont usually come out. anyway, thanks for making my dream of seeing you live come true. peace, poetry, and love...cream.

Posted by: cream at November 3, 2004 10:50 PM

u make me wanna stand up even more for myself in this world of politiks!
Can't believe that Bush won the election but i guess everything happens for a reason
thought this poem was about me when i saw my name maybe u dont wanna know that my name is nina 2
i feel u on the break up thing...im going thru something similar...seems like this is the season for heartbreak
but even still, gotta keep pressin
in due time ull come to appreciate this pain
ull do well tonite bc its ur who u r

MUCH LOVE
Nina

Posted by: Nina at November 3, 2004 11:40 PM