...from what matters most
to me
today
the map dwarfs my world
exhausted/pruned/me
shrunken in desire
of you smiling
talks of what we would do
if the sky fell
or held up under such strain
distance
is the path between me
and myself
New York tomorrow
Sweden the next
and only a few more days
to see what will happen
if any of this happens
I will giggle louder
this time I will
stand elastic against the stretch
and it will be better
love
it will be better
I promise
not to make promises I cannot
keep this time
keep me
safe
you secure under the weight of words written
in one draft
no copies
and that is how things are
sometimes
there is only one
print
of a photograph/black and white
a ship shifted since then
I am here
sturdy and missing you purring in my ear
lonely for
you/parts of me miss the laughter I am
when I am snuggled
wet under the intent of you
hands/finger/tongue telling me
all I would need to know of love
is under my skin
already you are under me
skin and bare skeleton skulking sweet
sincere
the words we share amass lifetimes
in these conversations
light years
flick fireflies fluttering moon
miniature ideas going on and off
suffering
and Tony Hoagland
is me and you buried under the pleasure
of suffering
at our joint palms open
and demanding
carte
blanc/he give me everything
if you dare
I dare you to show me
what you feel when you feel least
beautiful
bundle me bare and alive
still breathing
still
breathing
beneath such nights
threatening time/travel/tears and the temptation
to call
across the miles
telling
storiesand all I want to do with
me
is tell the turgid parts bursting
brutal from the bottom
of the world
Kia Ora
they tell us tourists
and I think the laugh at us clumsy
saying words that mean more
than we will ever have the capacity
to know,
Staceyann