This entry is really a thank you note, for all the guestbook entries and the comments posted and the emails sent.

I am soooo grateful for them. Some days I need something extra to believe in. Those are the days I sit at my computer and re-read the notes that say that other people believe in what I do, that other people also do what I do. I know there is the army, but sometimes we are invisible to each other.

So this one's for the girls who look like boys: the short crew cuts, the ties, the B-boy jeans, the Jordans and the baseball cap; for the girls who wear their skirts way too short (just because they wanted to); the blue hair; the feminist music; the boots; the fake pearls; the heels; the sneakers with jeans and a tee-shirt...

And for boys who call themselves Jenifuh Leathuh; for the people who were born in a body they diod not want and made the courageous decision to change it; for the cross-dressers; the men who like to dress like women-but like to date women; for the girl in Indianna who told me she was a gay man and changed her body so she could be with her boyfriend who was not really sure he was gay...

For Christie in Atlanta
Katie in Indianapolis
For Chris who I do not even know if he still lives in McMinville, Minesota
For Lucy in Urbana, Champagne

For the people who do not look like they belong to the stuggle- for the women who look like what we think straight is- for those of them who are straight- but send me long letters to say they were moved by what I had to say- for the ones who say, "Keep doing it!!"

Sometimes it's good to be an activist, a writer who people reach out to.

Every letter counts. Some days, nothing penetrates the wall of self-pity and fatigue, nothing, but a note from a girl in West Virginia, saying that she just came out to her father and it looks like he might be alright with it.

I'm a little sick today. Making myself count my blessings. Icky in the throat and stuffy, runny nose...

one
two
three
...
That's me, counting my blessings.

Oh, Pick up a copy of essence Magazine. I have a poem and a really nice picture in there. It's the May issue. The one with Natalie Cole and Nona Gaye on the cover. If you can't or won't buy it, look through to page 204. I'm looking very Jiggy.

I think my mother will think more of my career now, because I have a big picture in Essence magazine. Funny how that magazine has meant so much to women of color all over the world. My friend, Suheir, tells me that teen and Palestinian that she was- growing up in Brooklyn- she used to take the magazine home and look through and find bits of herself there...

Women of Palestinian descent should have their own magazine. There should be a Jamaican woman magazine. Alas...

And, if you can watch Def Poetry Jam on HBO. (mooch of a friend if you do not have cable or HBO- that shit cost so much!)

Anyway, the new season just started last Friday. I have no idea when we I will be on. I liked the show last week, though.

I have Yoga at 4:00 pm today. Poetry Yoga at the Crunch Gym at Lafayette and West 4th.

Then a show at 8. Maybe I'll see you there.

Love and poetry and Yoga
Staceyann