...For the hours
she writes on a box filled with events
occurrences that mark the time we spent
moving from hope
to disappointment
to places we have yet to name
Alone and I are friends again. I am beginning to think it is my default. My way to be when nothing pushes against me. My way to be when I am. Or not. One never knows what makes the slim tick of an elbow move outward from the body
silly bone that it is
fragile but necessary
slow smoldering under the Tuscan story of some white woman and a villa there
my brother lives in Tirol
and I am here in Crown Heights
missing my sister in Cologne
my grandmother in Jamaica
I still get emails from Stockholm
never been to China
but a girl writes me from there
down the crazy stair I go
one step
not two
marking time to the dark quiet of your hair and what it felt like
my hand dividing
the knots
I think I am going to stop falling
in love
love has a funny way of shifting
just when I decide to fall
drop me on the head
I be
breaking shit I had no idea
I had
there is no more shit to break motherfuckers!!
I refuse to shatter anymore
and all that is wild talk in the brutality
of your absence
her absence
merges names
faces/fury
frailty cracks into mirrors reflecting the myriad of hip bones
I have loved too
many hips
ankles/wrists/shins/shoulders
I should have loved less
bodies
less parts
should have given her less
of my parts
presented as purpose
pleaser that I am
Asante
says
pleasers are people too
and the road winds wicked toward
treachery
betrayal
broken words uttered
on a phone from far away
futile
fluttering
flags flipped flapping in the crazy wind of you
thrashing against
the way you
thought you loved me
love is something strange
some strange
strangle of small deaths
detangling
dangling from you
details forgetting the way I like cranberries and almonds
because of you
forgetting the way you like
my lips
are clouds you said
and your fingers are smaller than one would expect
it's the details
the tiny stroke of brush against canvas
against throat
against voice
against silence
against the unquiet
the narrow of your bed
the spread of mine
the hair's breath
of large insect on glass
the memories reflected in me
in you
in what we were meant to be
can you still see me
through all these layers projected
outward
me pulling inward away from your pencils
your mother
your monkeys
lying limp on this uneven floor
can you still see me breathing?
Stockholm, Connecticut, New Orleans and a woman named Asante...
Friendships are strange-
long roads that run parallel for years, never converging until you least expect the curve to appear slanted under the waxy insistence of a strange hand
writing crude caresses
on windows
and walls covered with old smiles
Asante
it is good to have you back in my world
wild wonder woman
floating easy
on a Louisana breeze
you be talking all sunshine
like grits
and greens
wearing carefree and comfort in a car too big for even your ass
holding me
without questions
no answers either
only a blue halo
tripping
like I wanted to shroom in Malmo but I was too scared
and you
another Anna
so many Annas
but only one boat-ride from Copenhagen
and you were too straight for me
and my small mouth
being
caught in the zipper of your proposed experiment
kiss me
and I refused
hid
in your bedroom
and ached that this boy moved you more than I ever will
My best friend is moving
again
and she seeks a replacement for her body
inside her apartment is ready for a new flurry of fingers cooking in her pots
new laughter
A one-bedroom in Brooklyn
Bed-stuy
great to make love in in the summer
she leaves sooner than I am willing to admit
she leaves her dishes
her bed
her stool upon which I have rested my feet
if you want to live in this place when she leaves me
you should write to her-
call her maybe
347-254-0412
so we view the new changes. old faces
thank you Anna
half Africa/half Europe in her hair
thank you
for the long slant of quiet
in the midst of a storm in Stockholm
Ula
thank you for the lip balm
and for calling my room in a sterile hotel
Marcella- you
and Rita- send me the list so I can send you that package
and Kei- I love the woman you have become
I am ecited to see what the wind will do with you next season
and Anna-Maria- thank you for taking
such beautiful pictures of a girl slow shuffling into woman
for all the faces who showed up
at the man in the moon
Kisses
from New York
from my heart
from my flaws blooming into beautiful
under your forgiving gaze
Staceyann
what follows is a note from my best friend-
the details of her apartment are included!!
do what you are moved to do!!!
So, I am moving to work overseas until the end of the year and have no desire to give up my fabulous apartment (very artsy, stylish, huge apt., high ceilings, big windows, airy, hardwood floors - the entire parlour floor of a brownstone!)... so I am looking therefore to sublet the space.
Now, it'll have all my furniture, my tv, dvd player, vcr, stereo system, my artwork, etc. (alot of valuables and sentimentalities) so anyone I'll consider to sublet to, has to be a very special kind of person who will handle my stuff in a respectful way.
I'm basically leaving all my furniture, bedroom set, living room set, kitchen appliances, utensils, EVERYTHING except my clothes and computers, so it will be a hassle-free move for the person who gets this space.
I live in Bed Stuy, the neighborhood isn't the greatest (but it's safe), AND the apartment is truly off da hook! (Really!) I'm thinking $1,025 per month (first and last months' rent... perhaps a deposit, but that amount is negotiable) and the apt. is available from April 1.
The sub-tenant can assume my phone line (there is no long distance) as well as my dsl (only $29) per month. Cable (I have almost 100 channels including all the premiums) would be included in the rent!!!! Gas is also included but you would have to pay electricity. Oh! And for when summer rolls around, the apt. has a kicking a/c unit, so no need to worry... and for the rest of the cool months, the heat works wonderfully.
Very close to J, M and G subway lines and close to laundromat and supermarkets.
I can be reached at 347-254-0412.